The Fall of Severus Snape
by For.the.LOVE.of.Severus
Summary: A journey into Severus and Sirius' relationship...it's a song-fic but please give it a try. It IS slash if it's not your cup of tea or fire whiskey then please move on. If it is please read and review, I am wetting my feet in fanfiction so I'm pretty rusty.
1. The Fall of Severus Snape

_**~Flashing disclaimer...I DO NOT own Harry Potter but would love to own or be owned by Severus Snape! I DO NOT own the Lauren Hill if I DID I'd have stopped her from dating Wycleff and becoming a crazy mess lol. I will not make any money and will be forever poor. This is a slash fic please don't flame you are warned it's also AU so don't flame on that please. It is a song-fic but give it a try anyways :)~**_

The Fall of Severus Snape

For the LOVE of Severus

It was almost a typical night at Hogwarts, students were in their dorms or common rooms playing around or studying. The more devout students were cooped up in the library like always. Two students on very different sides of the popularity tree were pulling a long detention with(or without since he never stayed in the room to supervise) Professor Slughorn one raven haired teen with beautiful grey eyes sighed loudly because he was yet again cleaning cauldrons by hand while the other raven haired teen with piercing black eyes looked at the other boy annoyed. The grey eyed boy was the ladies man of Hogwarts, handsome by almost every girls and some boys standards. He was also a well known prankster who ran with his clique of friends called The Marauders. His name Sirius Black and their mission as James Potter one of the founding members of the group once said was to cause chaos and have fun but when they first laid eyes on the other raven haired boy meticulously scrubbing cauldrons named Severus Snape they made it another mission to give him as much hell as they could. Severus was highly unpopular because of his hair that was oily from doing potions constantly and his skin was more pale than most because he was constantly inside in the sanctuary of a lab or the library. He is a loner but not always by choice his sharp tongue and bordering on paranoid vigilance kept others at bay. In the past five years he's had to become that way or he'd always be prey to his most hated enemy James Potter. He at some point towards the beginning of the year become friendly with Black but neither could say how it happened. Neither one could say and would deny making the first move when they went from kind of friends to kissing then from kissing to making out and from there both denied anything from that point. After a month of constant denial they said what the fuck and started secretly dating both not wanting their rival houses to know. This didn't mean that they went easy on each other when it came down to having to fight it just meant kisses and apologies followed when they could sneak away though Sirius was the one that almost always had something to apologize for. It was almost always his best friend who initiated a fight with the Slytherin. This time however it was Severus who had retaliated by sending a Slugulus Eructo curse causing Sirius to send a curse of his own while Remus helped James who was spitting out slugs left and right. A teacher happened by while the couple sent stinging hexes back and forth landing them in detention and James in the Hospital Wing. Sirius sighed looking at his lover "_It could all be so simple, But you'd rather make it hard._" Severus was appalled that Sirius would say that to him did he expect him to just lay back and take what those moronic Marauders did. "What do you mean make it simple, listen to me mutt and listen good. I am not just going to stand by and let you lot do whatever you damn we please to me!" "I didn't mean it that way but you don't have to go out of your way to start a fight with James now do you?" Sirius asked softly. "I hardly think it's looking for a fight when I am just answering his latest lets see what it takes to humiliate Snivellus quest...is it?" Severus sneered. They had been over this so many times before, Sirius would never understand how could he? He had his perfect life while Severus' life consisted of pain and humiliation. Sirius grew frustrated "YOU are just like him in that sense never wanting to let the other off the hook...dammit Snape." Severus was tired he didn't want to argue with anyone let alone one of the few people he let past his barriers well some of them. He wanted this thing with Sirius whatever it was, he wanted it. "_Loving you is like a battle, And we both end up with scars._" He whispered softly to the air. His lover knew what he meant, they had everything against them including his own cowardice he put his friends above anyone. He just answered back to the same air "_Tell me who I have to be, To get some reciprocity?_" This caused Snape's mood to lighten "My My Black do you even know what the meaning of such a big word?" Despite the jibe Sirius chuckled wrapping his arms around that lanky teen "In fact I do Snape, I may not be as smart as you but I do know a thing or two." He proceed to show him by kissing him soundly on his pale lips, Severus answered him by wrapping a hand in those wavy locks and crushing their lips together harder. Breathlessly they pulled apart to gather themselves before Professor Slughorn came back. When they headed out Severus was surprised to see Regulus, Sirius' younger brother waiting there and if the grunt that came from Sirius was any indication he was too. Severus and him had become friends when he came to Hogwarts a year after himself. Their friendship started from their dislike of his older brother oddly enough. "Regulus what are you doing down here?" Sirius tried to sound friendly even though they could hardly stand each other. Regulus was all about family tradition, Pure-blood ways, and Slytherin everything Sirius wasn't he even as far as to boast his Gryffindor colors in his family home anytime he could. Regulus sneered a sneer worthy of Severus "Black not that it's any of your business but I have come to collect Severus." He turned to his fellow Slytherin and spoke in a happier tone "Severus I heard you had to endure a detention alone with one of the idiotic Marauders so I figured I'd come walk with you back." Severus shook his head slightly while smirking softly "And it has nothing to do with you needing help with your potions essay hmmm?" They walked away without a glance back leaving a confused Sirius. If he didn't know better he'd say his brother was blushing even if it was miniscule. He shook those thoughts heading in the opposite direction to his own dorms.

It had been a week before the lovers were able to sneak off to meet. Sirius slid into the abandoned classroom under Jame's invisibility cloak as soon as shut the door he cast the required silencing and locking charms. Severus was already there hiding in a dark corner waiting patiently as soon as the last charm was placed he swooped enveloping the Gryffindor in a tight embrace. The other answered with a kiss on his pale neck as he spoke gently into his ear "_No one loves you more than me, And no one ever will._" That sent shivers down Severus' spine from both loving the feeling of possessiveness in his tone and being scared of it. He didn't like the feeling of being owned but couldn't help reveling in the feeling of warmth that washed over him. Sirius kissed him with hungry abandon as his hands worked frantically at his robe, the other set of hands worked swiftly but methodically on the animagus' robe. They broke their kissing long enough to shrug off their robes, Sirius pounced the topless Slytherin knocking him into the nearest wall pushing his erection into the other earning a low groan out of the usually stoic teen. Severus slid a free hand to Sirius' pants freeing his prize as fast as possible once free he gripped his cock tightly and stroked it slow driving his lover mad. Sirius wasn't a patient man by any means, with the way his lover was driving him close to the edge then stopping wasn't working for him. "Fuck Sev stop teasing me already, I need it now." The hand kept moving slowly to the others dismay it even slowed down a little he tried bucking his hips to not avail. Growling low he pushed those lovely fingers away so he could pull off the still half dressed teens pants. He made quick work of them then drug him to the nearest desk to bend him over. He couldn't wait he prepped him swiftly before plunging into a tight bliss moaning Severus' name. Severus' breath hitched at the intrusion he was grateful that Black waited till he was ready to move. He gave a signal that let him know he was ok, soon white burst from behind his tightly squeezed eyes as Sirius hit his sweet spot over and over. He knew it wouldn't take long not when his Gryffindor was this needy he tried to snake his hand down to his forgotten member but it was slapped away and replaced with another. "Mine" Sirius growled in his ear causing Severus to tremble soon he was coming moaning "Yours" over and over, his orgasm milked the others out of him. Grey eyes stayed shut even as he collapsed onto his lover's back. When both of them caught their breaths he pulled out slowly while feeling a cleansing charm being cast on himself. As always they dressed in silence, kissed as long as time allowed, and happily went to their own dorms. Sirius smacked his hand over his head for forgetting to give Severus his homework he ran quickly to see if he could catch him before he went too far into Slytherin territory. He slowed down when he heard voices. He was glad he had James' cloak as he recognized the voice of his brother he followed the voice finding that he was talking to his lover. Sirius was nothing if not opportunistic so he cast a silencing spell on his shoes listening for any good information. "Why won't you tell me Sev, you know I keep any secret you tell me." Severus stopped mid-stride to give him a warning glare which caused Regulus to mumble an apology. "I told you what I was doing Reg why must you insist it be something it isn't?" Regulus made a pained face but covered it up with a huff pointing at his friends neck. "I'd like to know the name of the book that gave that 'he spat the word like rancid food' to you?" Sirius wasn't sure if he wanted to know what excuse he made but he also wanted to see how his brother reacted because from what he was seeing his brother had a crush on his lover and he didn't like that one bit. They may not be telling anyone about this thing but he was not a very good sharer especially with his bigoted brother. "Fine I was studying but then I met up that seventh year Ravenclaw, you remember the one I told you about and we snogged a bit that's it...that's all it will ever be dreadful kisser he was." Severus lied smoothly. Regulus bit his lip willing the hurt to pass this was his best friend he was suppose to be supportive when he was well enough to speak again he forced a smile nudging him with his elbow. "I could have told you he'd be a bad kisser he is from Ravenclaw after all probably just read about how to kiss in a book, tell me did he ask you to grade him on his technique when you were done?" This caused Severus to laugh he wrapped an arm around the younger man dragging him down to their dorms "No but if he did I would definitely have to give him a T!" They both laughed disappearing out of Sirius' view, for his part he started making his way to his own dorm homework forgotten. He was in his dressed in his bed clothes before he even noticed someone talking to him. "Hmmm sorry what did you say, I was thinking about something." Remus gave an exasperated sigh "I gathered that much considering I've been calling you since you walked in the dorm. I said did you have a big date tonight but judging by your face it didn't go well at all." "Sorry Moony yeah I did and it went ok just have a few things on my mind nothing worth mentioning. I'm just gonna go to sleep maybe if I get a clear head I can sort it out better." Remus looked unsure but let it go "If you wanna talk Pads I'm here, Goodnight." Sirius yawned out "Goodnight Moony, I know that thanks." He shut his curtains to try and sleep but all he kept doing was running a mental checklist of seventh year Ravenclaw boys. Sirius trudged up to his first class pissed from lack of sleep and lack of food since none of his friends decided to wake him for breakfast he was just lucky it was History of Magic with Binns so he could catch a few more zz's or so he thought as soon as he walked in his eyes fell to the black haired teen who was jotting down notes as far away from the class as possible. His mind was back on who the other teen was seeing behind his back. He wanted answers but didn't know how to get them plus he didn't want to know if it happened to be true. He also remembered he had his homework they needed for their next class. Grabbing a spare piece of parchment he scribbled a note then charmed it to look like a spider that made its way to the studious male behind him. Severus was taking notes as the teacher droned on about yet another Goblin Revolution when a paper spider walked on top of his work then swiftly unfolded it self. All it said was

'Got your homework still. -S'

he breathed a sigh of relief thinking he had lost it which was highly unlike him, he wrote out his own message then charmed it into a snake returning it back to the original sender. Sirius was already becoming droopy eyed when he heard a small hiss in his ear his eyes widened for a fraction of a second before noting it was a paper message he couldn't help but roll his eyes at the obvious choice for his Slytherin. The snake gave one more hiss then unfolded he chuckled slightly at the message back.

'Good grief I forgot I lent it to you, thought I was losing my mind. I'll have you know I ransacked my whole bag looking for that damn parchment...don't sit there snickering send it over. -S' Grabbing Severus' homework he charmed it into a lion then sent it back to other teen, he knew said teen received it when he heard a soft snort behind him. With that done he followed his friends' example falling to sleep to the monotonous voice of their ghostly Professor.

It was a few days before he thought of the Ravenclaw again this time it was staring him in the face so to speak he saw Severus in the back of the library talking to a Ravenclaw boy with blonde hair. They were shoulder to shoulder looking down at something when the boy looked up at his Severus he blushed then looked away as soon as Severus looked up at him. Sirius' blood boiled he stalked up to them "What's this Snape found someone just as pathetic as you to hang around?" Severus and the Ravenclaw looked up startled but onyx eyes narrowed at the intruder his so called lover with a quick glance he noticed no one else was with him so why was he here harassing him. "Don't you have James' ass to kiss Black or are you done for the day?" he sneered. The green eyed teen giggled at the remark causing Sirius to lash out harder "Oi Snivellus don't you have a Death-Eater dick to suck." He knew as soon as the words left his mouth he went to far. His companion gasped but Severus calmly turned to him "Charles I think we're done for the day, Why don't you owl me the time and place to finish up ok?" Charles looked uncertain "Are you sure Severus, I can walk you to your dorms?" Severus turned to his partner softened his features a bit "I'll be ok Charles believe me it is nothing I haven't had to deal with before, I'd feel worse if you got caught up in this mess." He wasn't a Slytherin for nothing he might not have tons of friends but he was learning how to get things he needed with subtle gestures and phrases. Charles gathered up his things before he left he gave Severus a one armed hug then ran off. Severus ignored the fuming teen to gather his things to leave. He made it out of the library and as far as the bottom stairs before he heard "Snape!" he cursed as a hand yanked him to a stop. He took a survey of who was around thankfully just a few first years. "What the bloody hell do you want Black?" The other teen dragged him to an empty classroom as soon as the door closed he kissed the Slytherin hard enough to leave a bruise. It ended when Severus responded the instant he did he was pushed away, when Sirius reached the door to leave he was pulled roughly away from it to the floor. When he looked up he was greeted with a confused, angered, and even sad faced teen who gritted out "_Is this just a silly game, That forces you to act this way? Forces you to scream my name, Then pretend that you can't stay._" Sirius tried to speak but what could he say that didn't sound like a lead on. He said the first thing that came to mind "Don't make me out to the bad guy when you were with Charles." Severus glared at the other man spitting his reply with as much acid as he could muster "Is that why you chose to embarrass me in front of my Charms partner because of some petty shit you made up in your head?" "I heard you talking to my brother the other night about the seventh year Ravenclaw who you were snogging!" Sirius accused. Severus gave a bitter laugh "Merlin you are stupid what did you want me to say I was off fucking your brother? I'm sure you would have liked that, you know I may not be interested in Charles but at least he isn't ashamed to be seen with me!" Sirius stood up walking to his lover "What's that suppose to mean?" He used Sirius' own words against him "_Tell me, who I have to be, To get some reciprocity? _I am sick of having to hide this from our friends." The Gryffindor sighed "I know but it's not the right time, wait for me...remember _No one loves you more than me, And no one ever will._" Severus shivered in pleasure but his mind kept telling him this was wrong. "I don't think so Black I don't want to be in the background anymore like a cheap mistress this isn't working." Grey eyes flashed with concern as he cupped his lover's sharp face "_No matter how I think we grow, You always seem to let me know it ain't workin'._" Thin lips crushed onto his after a few seconds they pulled back and in a sullen silky voice he said "_It ain't workin'._" he snatched his face from those warm hands then ran as fast as he could back to his dorms leaving a stunned Sirius in his wake.

It was only a day before he saw Severus again it had been due to a mix up with both houses' Quidditch teams booking the field on the same day. Since neither refused to leave they grudgingly decided to have a duel practice. Severus was reading a book waiting for Lucius to finish practice he was content enough to read since Regulus got himself detention for casting Bird-Conjuring Charm to attack a fifth year who was bashing his house. He reminded himself not to look at Sirius no matter how much he wanted to it would only hurt worse in the end. Halfway through practice Sirius made it a point to maneuver himself closer to Severus he wanted to gain his attention by any means necessary. He saw his opening to call Severus' name with no one else around and a Slytherin had "accidentally" threw a bludger in his direction. Severus looked up at his name being called noticed it was Sirius he was ready to tune him out when he saw a ball come flinging in his direction. Severus got to his feet calling Sirius' name thinking 'where is my wand, why doesn't he move, why do I care we're over?' Sirius just smiled at him as he got smashed by the bludger in his arm, Severus willed himself to stay put. He was thankful his body listened to him because Potter was at Sirius' side in no time taking him to the nurse. He sat down forcing himself back into his Slytherin role. While everyone on both teams were fighting on the field Lucius flew down to him gracefully landing next to him. "McNair did a real number on the Gryffindork didn't he?" Severus made a small laugh come out "I wish I could have seen his face, too bad I was reading I even had front row seats to Black getting injured." Lucius laughed then got up calling the rest of the team who stopped their brawl some in mid-swing to follow their Ice Prince off the field. Some Gryffindors looked shocked others were disgusted by the way they followed him like a pack of dogs following their master. Severus wasn't like the rest of their House he walked with Lucius never behind him. When dinner came he noticed Sirius wasn't eating with the rest of his gang. Despite his breakup with the beautiful boy he was worried about his well being. He decided to check on him just to sleep better that night or so he tried telling himself. He snuck out as soon as the others were asleep, it was easy enough to sneak into the Hospital Wing since most tried to sneak out not in. He spotted those wavy locks right away causing him to all but run to his side. He was barely by his side when he was flashed a pair of perfect teeth and a big smile. "I knew you'd come." He croaked out. Severus sighed as he sat down "You fool why didn't you move out of the way even I know you had plenty of time to dodge it?" Sirius took Severus' long fingers to thread into his own he looked up in the deep dark pools he liked so much whispering "It was the only way I knew of to get you to talk to me. I...I wanted to say I was sorry for how I acted yesterday." Severus should have known this was a ploy but if he was honest with himself he was flattered that he had gone through so much just to get his attention. "Sirius I already told you I need more that's why I walked away..." he pulled his hand free to hold his face "_And when I try to walk away, You'd hurt yourself to make me stay!_" Sirius gently pulled his hands away from face to look him in the eyes "I can't promise you I can tell my friends but don't you know I care for you I'll be there for you if you need me hell I'd die for you Severus." Black eyes stared at equally shocked grey eyes, Sirius hadn't meant to go that far but he meant it. He held onto the other teen in case he got the idea to flee but the other teen stayed still mumbling "_This is crazy_" Sirius had to agree with him there "You're right _This is crazy_ but this is us Severus you know I love you I just can't tell anyone yet." Severus gave a resigned groan "_I keep letting you back in...How can I explain myself. As painful as this thing has been, I just can't be with no one else!_" He leaned over and kissed pale pink lips softly multiple times before leaving for his dorm.

They had a couple of weeks of pure bliss that consisted of quick gropes, soft words, and heavy make up sex. In the Great Hall one morning James made a gagging sound causing Sirius and Peter to look up from their food. "What's up Prongs, swallow a fly or something?" James rolled his eyes but replied "No just looking at Snivellus makes me want to throw up my lunch." Remus looked up from his book for the first time that morning to peer at the Slytherin table "He does seem different lately, he seems I don't know happy I guess." "What the hell could that greasy git have to be happy about?" Remus just shrugged "Maybe he has a girlfriend we don't know about?" That caused James to shudder "I couldn't imagine who'd want his greasy paws all over them but whatever the reason, I don't think I can let it stand. I mean it's against nature for a conniving Slytherin to be happy isn't that right Pads?" Sirius didn't like where this was going but he wouldn't go against his best friend with a forced laugh he replied "Of course not Snivellus being happy is a crime against nature, what were you thinking Prongs?" "I'm not sure yet give me a few days to think of something really good." Remus gave an irritated sigh as he returned to his book, Peter clapped excitedly before returning to his food, and Sirius returned to his food sullenly looking between his dish and Severus. Sirius thanked Merlin that the rest of the day had gone off without a hitch besides scaring a few first years. He tried to keep his mind off the next round of Humiliate Severus that James had planned by sinking himself into school work to James' dismay and Remus' surprise. One evening James opted out of going to the library with him and Remus to chase down to spend time with Lily which was a good thing since the first thing he spotted was Severus sitting alone. He sat with his back to his lover or he knew he'd get caught by the ever watchful wolf he was studying with. They were barely thirty minutes into studying when Remus gasped "I wonder if that's why he's been so happy?" Sirius knew right away who he meant but played dumb "Who Moony?" Remus discretely pointed to the table behind him "Severus...just come to this side to act like you need to read from my book." Sirius got up to sit next to Remus when he looked to where Severus was sitting he spotted the blonde haired Ravenclaw leaning a little too close to Severus. "Do you think that he's dating a guy?" Sirius gave a shrug then pulled his own supplies to where he was now sitting not that it would do much good he didn't think he would be getting much work done. Remus didn't bother he only put his book to his face to look like he was reading. It didn't take long until Remus elbowed him "Look he's actually smiling, I've never seen Severus actually smile before have you?" Sirius glanced up at his Severus' face YES he wanted to shout I'M suppose to be the one making him smile that beautiful smile and laughing that deep sexy laugh. NO one else is suppose to see this side of him. He squeezed his eyes shut before replying "No I mean it's Snivellus all he ever does is sneer and scowl." Remus gave him a disapproving look mumbling "Well this look looks good on him." before continuing his Snape watching. His quill snapped when he indeed heard his lovers laugh accompanied by the other boys. He gave up on trying to do actual work to do what Remus was doing he needed to know what was so damn funny. Remus commented unknown to the storm brewing inside one of his best friends. "He is kind of a pretty boy I wonder what his name is?" "Charles" Sirius sneered causing Remus to tear his eyes away from the couple "How did you know that?" "I uh heard some firstie talking to him the other day." Sirius lied. Remus took it at face value continuing his watch on the couple. He couldn't take watching them but he couldn't make himself leave his heart gave a lurch as he saw Severus wipe something off the blushing boys face. Even if his Severus didn't look like he liked him or didn't caress the other man's face he didn't like him touching anyone but him. Remus awwed which really made Sirius want to punch him hard. Before they headed out it happened what Sirius feared and Remus had been anticipating while Severus was packing up his bag the blonde leaned in stealing a kiss from Severus. Surprise was written all over his face before he could recover the boy ran off stopping only enough to glare at Sirius and Remus not that either noticed. "Well I guess we found out why Severus has been so happy, Good for him." They packed up their bags leaving unnoticed by the shocked Slytherin as soon as they rounded the corner away from the library Sirius made up an excuse to head back telling Remus to go ahead back to the dorms. When he was sure the other Gryffindor was gone he headed back to Severus. He was packing up bag when Sirius reached him "What the hell was that Snape?" Severus was startled "Well hello to you too Black, What was what exactly?" Sirius was furious "Do not play with me Snape you know damn well what I mean, blondey kissing you and you not shoving him away or is this what you do with anyone who gives you attention?" Severus closed his bag then shoved the grey eyed teen away from him "Fuck you Black!" he hissed. Sirius followed him out letting his mouth get the better of him. "Did that with him too I bet what did you spread them for my brother and Lucius as well. I see they give you enough attention." Severus came to an abrupt halt "I can't believe you would think so little of me first I'm Snivellus, then I'm a Death-Eater, now I'm a whore?!" He was my second kiss and it wasn't even by my choice." His breath was coming out harshly willing the tears not to show. Sirius was too angry to think straight "I'm sure, then what was that caressing his face Snape. Face it you led him on knowing I would be watching if you think that is going to make me tell my friends faster then you are mistaken. I can't even look at you right now!" Severus clenched his hands to his side trying to control the hurt and rage that threatened to take him over. "I see...I know what you really think of me..._See I know what we got to do, You let go and I'll let go too. _I'm done with this, whatever this was it isn't working because I can't keep loving a man who thinks so little of me. Good-bye Sirius." Feeling like deja vu he ran off heartbroken again. The tears in Severus' eye did little to curb his anger he headed out to fly and clear his mind.


	2. The Fall of Severus Snape 2

Sirius was grateful it was the weekend because he didn't feel like getting up before noon when James and Remus finally pulled him out of his bed it was to go eat lunch. He looked up once towards the Slytherin table but Severus was missing he saw his brother talking to Malfoy intently but couldn't be bothered to care. At the Slytherin table Regulus was worriedly conversing with Lucius. "Lucius did you see Severus last night he looked terrible, his eyes were red like he had been crying. Do you know what happened I mean you do share a dorm with him." Lucius was worried about his friend too he looked broken last night. "From what I gathered he was seeing someone and it ended badly...I don't know who it was don't bother asking." Regulus was stunned as long as they had been friends never once had Severus ever mentioned seeing anyone the closest thing he knew was of the Ravenclaw who had a crush on him. "I think we should go look for him I mean he didn't eat breakfast and now he's skipping lunch if he was as bad as you said it can't be good for him to be alone." He glanced over as heard the Marauders heading out of the Great Hall "Let's check the Potion's Lab first that's where he usually goes when he needs to clear his head." "If he isn't there then we'll check outside he's usually doing homework or reading by the big tree." Lucius stated as they got up to leave. The gang decided to go outside since it was a beautiful day. Sirius blindly followed the familiar route to their spot as he let his mind wonder. He was shaken out of his revelry by James "Oi Sirius I've got something that is sure to lift your spirits look its Snivellus." He looked towards the direction where James' finger was pointing and sure enough there was Severus reading a book while twirling his wand in one hand. His heart gave a jolt at the sight how he wanted to rush over and just beg Severus' to forgive him for being an idiot. He knew Severus wouldn't have cheated on him he was just so jealous his mind went blank. James on the other hand had other Ideas "Come on let's go play with Snivelly." He sauntered up to the Slytherin without a word of warning he shouted "Levicorpus" flinging said boy upside down in the air. Severus didn't even have to look to know who was again tormenting him he was lucky he had bypassed old world tradition and starting wearing pants. His wand and book fell to the ground as soon as the spell was cast leaving him defenseless and angry at himself for letting his guard down. "What do you want now Potter?" He seethed. Harsh laughter rang in his ear as he was flung around "Nothing much Snivellus just wondering if we could use you as bait to catch the giant squid. What do you think Sirius think Snape here would make good bait?" He looked at the group for the first time at his no not his anymore his ex-boyfriend looking much like he use to before they got together. Face fixed into vicious pleasure at the expense of his humiliation. He knew Severus was afraid of going into the lake after the time he nearly drowned in first year. His face remained the same but something must have shown in Severus' face because his eyes flashed something like sadness. "Nah James even the giant squid has better taste than to want something like a slimy Slytherin." Laughter rang out from the gathering crowd of houses. "Probably right on that one, hmm what should we do to him then? We could hang him outside the one of the girls tower or strip him naked and toss him in the girls shower?" James cruelly suggested. Severus didn't like any of those ideas especially the ones where it meant him stripping since he didn't want anyone to see the scars that littered his back. He knew if James had his way and he usually did that's exactly what would happen. The scars would be more fodder for James to throw in his face, the cruel teen would more than likely spread rumors it was from his Death-Eater meetings or he was a pervert who liked it rough. His mind raced as pictures of snickering faces looked down at him joining in the taunting of the deviant Slytherin. Severus was actually pleading with his ex-lover "Sirius after all we've been through are you really going to let them do this to me? I know we aren't together anymore but you cared for me once didn't you?" Sirius heard Remus gasp and he was sure James was the one making a choking sound he was just too afraid to turn around to see the disgust and disappointment in their faces. He kept his eyes on Severus knowing for sure he had a look of utter horror or was it terror? Severus' face was once again unreadable but his tone said more than words could ever say "Sirius I love you and you loved me too so why must you insist on hurting me?" Sirius was close to panicking would they see the truth in his words he shook that thought from his head soon to be replaced with thoughts of why Severus was even saying any of this, sure he said he wanted to go public but he didn't think he'd go this far. He played the same game he played before hoping Severus would forgive him like he always had. "Why would you say such a disgusting thing Snivellus, I can have just about any girl here and have just yesterday in fact. How could you ever think I'd want to be with a disgusting creature like you...why?" Severus fought the tears that threaten to fall as he choked out "We both know why Sirius _'Cause no one's hurt me more than you, And no one ever will_! Even so my heart still belongs to you and yours belongs to me." Sirius was torn between being angry at himself for not just stopping this to being upset that his Sev was hurting to being angry at him for just not playing the game like they agreed on, He went with the easiest emotion anger. "You're delusional Snivelly if you think I could ever love you, No one could care for let alone love a thing like you god just thinking about it makes me want to puke." Laughter rang around him he soon joined in. Severus gaze fell to his once best friend who who looked angry but when he caught her eyes she huffed turning her body away from the spectacle. He felt himself being shaken by the invisible bond that held him upside down for the second time this year. "Oi keep your filthy eyes off my girl you dirty bastard." James shrieked. Severus returned his eyes to his ex-boyfriend he let the tears fall unabashedly when he saw them soften he pleaded for the teen to hear him. "_Care for me, care for me, I know you care for me_ remember the first time you admitted that we didn't talk for a week. I was so scared to let myself believe you were telling the truth. _There for me, there for me, Said you'd be there for me_ I remember when you told me that it was after my last attempt to apologize to Lily I was so ashamed that my embarrassment got the better of me causing me to lash out at her. We had been friends for so long that I didn't think one slip would end years of friendship. You told me even if she never came around that you'd there for me instead." Tears ran freely into his hair as he smiled a small smile. He didn't notice Regulus was running towards them but he didn't register much besides Sirius face. _Cry for me, cry for me, You said you'd die for me _ Remember that was the day after I tried to end it on my own terms but you said we could make it work that you didn't want to be a part from me, like a fool I believed in you. Sirius was pissed that this man would throw his own words back at him in public. He couldn't bring himself to stop the brutal reply that came bubbling out "Why would I die for you Snivelly you aren't worth it...why don't you just do us all a favor and put yourself out of everyone's misery." Severus felt the weight of those words cut into his very core, he was sure Sirius would have admitted it, he claimed to love him but instead he wished him dead. He should have known this was all some sick game Black came up with. He smiled at the man who had made him feel for the first time in a long time only to savagely rip it away for all to see to him vulnerable and weak. His wand had fallen when they first struck out at him but he was lucky to have had a back up plan even if it wasn't used the way he ever intended it to be. His voice was soft but clear as he looked into the grey eyes that had captured his heart saying "If that's what you really want Sirius." He pulled out his silver potions knife funnily enough the one Sirius had given him for Christmas never breaking eye contact even as he heard a familiar scream he sliced one wrist then the other. It must have shocked Potter because he fell to the ground either that or he was laughing so hard he dropped him really he wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. He barely recognized Regulus next to him he couldn't hear him but he must have told someone something because it he turned his head and it looked like he was shouting._  
_

Regulus screamed to Lucius before he could reach them to go get Madam Pomphrey. In a daze he raced back towards the castle shoving any onlookers out of his way. The younger Slytherin pulled out his wand casting a spell that slowed the bleeding but couldn't stop it fully mentally cursing himself for not being good at those kind of spells. He ripped off his robes then began wrapping it around the now too pale teen's wrists. Regulus couldn't stand it he was yelling at the bleeding boy in his arms "Dammit Sev why did you have to do it?! He wasn't worth it he never was and he never will be." He didn't care if the Marauders were still around gaping like the trolls they proved themselves to be. "Please give in to me just this once please..._Give to me, give to me, Why won't you live for me?! Care for me, care for me, I know you care for me! There for me, there for me, Said you'd be there for me!" _He picked Severus' head up to gently cradle it in his lap tears that had been threatening to fall did so as he bent to kiss Severus' forehead. Black eyes fluttered open as the bloodied hand of the elder Slytherin reached up to stroke the crying boys face. His voice was weak but he felt he needed to reassure him. "Reg I'm sorry...I was weak...a coward, I never wanted you to get hurt and none of this is your fault please never think that. I put my heart in the wrong hands, I fought it for so long Regulus...I knew no one could love me but he was there telling me things no one ever had. You know how my home life was I latched on to his sweet lies like a starving man to a crumb. I knew my life was meant for nothing but hurt and heartache so I finally took the power back the only way I knew how but again I was wrong wasn't I?" Regulus sobbed openly leaning in he kissed Severus' lips with all the love he felt for the man that invaded his life. "You stupid wonderful bastard, you are loved why can't you see how much I love you! I'd be lost without you...never think of yourself as a coward or weak you were just pushed to the edge by children who are no better than murders! If your life is heartache let me help you heal if you're starving let me feed you please Severus let me love you the way you deserved to be love." Long fingers wiped traces of tears off his face as he reached the other cheek his hand slammed to the ground. Regulus panicked not knowing what to do he shook the stilled form of his beloved. "Don't do this to me please..." Suddenly he was pulled off not realizing who it was he began to fight back but the soothing voice of Lucius broke through. "Regulus calm down its me, shhh its me look Madam Pomphrey has him." He stopped flailing to see her tend to his wrists while Professor McGonagall and Headmaster Dumbledore were questioning people. He snapped to quickly "Lucius please go with Severus while I tell them what happened I'll be there soon." With a nod the silvery blonde man headed off with the no nonsense Medi-witch as soon as he saw them heading closer to the castle he shakily walked to the elders. His voice was harsh from crying but filled with a burning hatred he never knew before "It was your precious Marauders who caused this! You let them get away with so much but they have gone too far this time." They turned from the crowd with stunned looks on their faces whether from what they found out or that a student tried to take his life he didn't know nor did he care. Dumbledore was the first to speak his voice ever so calm "What do you mean they caused this everyone said he slit his wrists, while it is no less a serious event I don't see how they played into it." Regulus laughed a bitter laugh "Of course YOU wouldn't..." Professor McGonagall bristled "Now look here young..." He cut her off shouting "NO YOU LOOK HERE...ASK THEM go ahead ask them what they were doing to him to make him snap finally!" Again Dumbledore spoke in his calm tone that infuriated the younger man "I suggest we all head to my office now." Regulus shook his head "I won't be going anywhere with you all I don't trust you and I don't trust myself not to curse someone...I'm going to the hospital." He didn't even wait for a reply or reprimand he just ran to the Hospital Wing as fast as his legs would take him.

As soon as he was inside the wing he frantically searched for his love's form as soon as he found it he was wracked with uncertainty he didn't' know if he could make it if Severus didn't. Breathing harshly he ran to the bed where Lucius' head was bowed onto his friend's hand, popping up to the sound of footsteps. The words he spoke hit Regulus like a ton of bricks "He's weak but alive Reg...He's alive." Tears fell from beautiful grey eyes as he held out a hand to his younger friend who took it and allowed himself to be guided to the lying boys free hand. He didn't realize he was shaking so badly until he took the freshly healed wrist in his smaller hand. Madam Pomphrey bustled towards them speaking softly "He's going to be just fine gentlemen, I've given him a blood replenishing potion and a sleeping drought since he needs his rest." She really didn't like other students around her patients but didn't have the heart to kick out either boy. "If you insist on staying trough the night you may sleep on the bed next to him. I intend to keep him for a few days because he will need to be under intense observation, please believe me when I say I'm sorry if anyone doesn't deserve to have a hard life it's him." Pain etched onto all their faces even the usually aloof masked Lucius as they nodded their head in agreement. She left them to be with their classmate but raised a privacy ward before she entered her office. Lucius gently set down the boy's hand and tucked it under the blanket, he sniffled then cleared his throat "I'm going to give the news to the other snakes since we both don't know the full story I'll just give them what I can. I'll tell them not to visit until tomorrow although I'm not sure I can stop Narcissa, I'm relieved he is going to be ok. What did the Headmaster say?" Regulus' expression clearly showed his distaste of the Headmaster. "He didn't say much of course he wanted to know what his fucking golden boys had to do with it. I told him to ask them when he wanted to usher us into his office I refused coming here instead. I swear if nothing happens to them I'll have my father speak to the Board of Governors!" "Don't worry I will too and I know I can get others to as well...I'm off try to get some rest I'll see you in the morning." He nodded once to the still shaken boy before heading out he whipped out his wand to enlarge the bed so Regulus could be closer to Severus without another word or a glance back he walked out with an air of the Pure-blood he was. Regulus didn't waste time he transfigured his clothes into pajamas, slipping off his shoes, and climbing into the bed to be near his best friend the man he loved. Wrapping him up in a protective embrace he slipped off into oblivion never noticing the Medi-witch who had a small smile playing on her lips. As warned Regulus became conscious to the sound of Narcissa Black sniffling as she scolded Severus in a loving manner "Why would you do that you silly boy don't you know how much we care about you, I know we aren't good at showing our emotions I just wish you had seen what you mean to us. How could you let them break you this bad I don't understand. I want to throttle that blood traitor cousin of mine and his cronies, don't worry Sev I'll protect you." Regulus spoke softly not wishing to wake the boy next to him or startle the blonde girl next to him. "I know bits and pieces but from what I gathered he fell for the lies my traitorous brother said tricking him into loving him." Narcissa breathing in but he continued "I gather today was the last straw because I ran up hearing him speaking so brokenly just one phrase '_Cry for me, cry for me, You said you'd die for me_' Black of course cruelly replied 'Why would I die for you Snivelly you aren't worth it...why don't you just do us all a favor and put yourself out of everyone's misery.' I still wasn't close enough to stop him as he smiled a defeated smile...oh Cissa I hope you never see that look on him. He pulled out something I was too late to get to him as he told him 'If that's what you really want Sirius' then sliced his wrists so fast they just dropped him in with no care for his well being. Lucius was right behind me as soon as I reached him, the rest well I'm sure you know by now." He took a shaky breath risking a glance to the girl, her face was a mix of horror and ire. They talked for a while until she had to go back to her dorm room, she promised to only tell Lucius until Severus gave the whole story to inner circle of snakes if he chose to.

It had taken another day before Madam Pomphrey would let him have visitors besides Regulus who flat out refused to leave he had even went as far as to bind his arm to Severus' bed which thankfully caused Severus to chuckle as well as the nurse. She consented to letting him stay as long as his friend stayed she secretly hoped it would help him recover faster, she was sincerely worried to let him leave fearing he would try again. When he was allowed visitors he wasn't thrilled but he was reassured by Regulus that they needed to see he was ok. Lucius came accompanied by a Narcissa who were please to see him awake. Severus was anxious to the questions he knew were coming but hid it well behind his mask. Narcissa walked over to him placing a delicate kiss on his cheeks next Lucius clapped him on the back gently. They seated themselves next to him thankfully asking him the safe questions which he answered as honestly as possible. They both thought it best to not mention anything to do with the incident which worked out well until they got ready to leave then they saw a red haired girl coming through the door. Severus visibly flinched away picking up a book to read willing away the pain her presence brought him because as much as she hurt him he cared for her. Narcissa held up her hand to let them know she would handle it, she felt like a mother snake protecting their young. She gracefully glided to the other girl "Is there a specific reason you are here girl?" Lily clenched her fist making herself remain calm "I'm here to see Severus not that it is any concern of yours." Narcissa gave a condescending chuckle "That's where you're wrong see Severus is my friend, so I have every right to ask. You gave up any rights to him the day you turned him away for a slip of the tongue, How many times did he apologize for it? If you thought he wouldn't tell us you were mistaken as much as his relationship with you sickened us and make no mistake it did we were happy for him enough to encourage him to seek you out. You know what I think...I think you took the first chance you could to make a break from him while still making yourself look good. Your little blood traitor boyfriend was more important than a childhood friend in the end you couldn't stand being in the presence of a powerful Slytherin. You make me sick Mudblood just leave before you cause him more pain." She turned her back on the Gryffindor who was in tears when the doors opened and closed she smiled making her way back to the trio. She brushed back the hair of her little serpent "I've taken care of it Sev she'll never bother you again but I'm afraid we have to leave before classes start if you're bored I'll have a first year deliver your school work. Regulus you will be getting your homework regardless...don't pester Sev to help you either." She chuckled hoping it would lighten the mood, it worked Regulus blushed causing the other boys to laugh even if Severus' was a small laugh it warmed her heart. It was a week before he was allowed to leave the whole time the only ones he allowed to visit were Lucius and Narcissa. Lucius told him the next day the not so shocking news that the Marauders had only gotten their Hogsmead visits revoked and detention for the rest of the year that's when Lucius started in on how Dumbledore would get his in the end thankfully his fiance had the good sense to place the Muffiliato spell Severus had taught her to keep their conversation private. The three Pure-bloods made it there mission to get him on to their way of thinking. Since it was a holiday coming up Lucius invited him to spend the week at his Manor along with Regulus, he accepted quickly any reason to avoid hiding away in the common room or running into a Marauder, Regulus happily accepted hoping to get some alone time with his crush to prove him he was loved.

When school resumed after the holiday Severus was forever changed as he made his way to the Great Hall he was flanked by Regulus and Lucius with Narcissa's arm wrapped around her fiance's arm. They sat facing the Gryffindor table much to everyone's surprise they didn't know it was only Narcissa's insistence that he face the scum holding his head high that he did so. Across at the Gryffindor table Remus looked up scanning till his eyes sought what he was looking for his heart clenched at the sight of the lanky black haired teen who by all appearances looked better but his eyes shone hints of suffering. He tore his eyes away unable to bear the guilt he felt for never speaking up against the things his friends did to the Slytherin. "It seems you got your wish James." At the sound of his name he looked up confused "What do you mean Moony?" Peter and Sirius turned to their friends to see what was going on. Remus gave an irritated sigh "I mean he isn't happy anymore that IS what you wanted right, So congratulations you got your wish." "If you assume I wanted him to off himself you're mistaken but I never saw you doing anything to stop the pranks we pulled on him did you Remus!" Peter of course tried placating both of them to no avail "Come on guys let's not let Snivellus come between us...we've been through too much." They didn't stop glaring at each other when they both said "Sod off Peter!" Sirius took the time to look at his ex-lover for the first time since that fateful day, not a day went by that he didn't kick himself for not being brave enough to admit what his heart screamed for him too. He saw as his brother who leaned into his Severus' ear whispering to him. Back at the Slytherin table Lucius glanced away from his group to see Sirius looking towards them causing him to give a disgusted sigh "What the hell is Black staring at?" Severus glanced up from his plate to meet Sirius' eyes and knew right away it was him he was staring at. He felt the need to shake the man up so he cast a wandless Legilimency forcing images in Blacks head. Sirius was bombarded with memories that weren't his but that of Severus ~Severus walked into a scarcely lit room with Regulus and Lucius at his side as he met with The Dark Lord he was scared but thankfully his outward appearance was calm and confident. He got on his knees brandishing his left arm The Dark Lord recited an incantation then held the tip of his wand to pale flesh. Pain shot through Severus' body mentally screaming but the only sign he showed was gritting his teeth and slight quickening of his breath. His fellow Slytherins held on to his arms for physical and moral support. When he was done he was escorted to his room where he requested to be alone for the rest of the night. After casting a silencing spell he stared at his arm thoughts of Sirius entered his mind causing him to let out a loud wail. He collapsed on the floor still staring at the marred flesh sobbing out "Sirius..._Care for me care for me __You said, You care for me! __There for me there for me __Said, You'd be there for me!...Where were you when I needed you__...Where were you?!_"~ The images stopped as fast as they came when his came back into focus the sight that greeted him was a cruel smirk on Severus' face but what was worse was the screaming pain in his eyes. He jumped up running from the Great Hall his friends were startled out of their silent fight to follow him. The last thing they heard as they left was rich deep laugh followed by a few others. When they caught up to the fleeing animagus he was in their dorm room hyperventilating, The softhearted wolf sat next to him rubbing his back speaking in soothing tones "What's the matter Padfoot, Why did you run out?" Sirius shrugged off the arm opting to pace the dorm soon a sob tore from him "I..I lost him, He's in a place I can't ever reach him...OH GOD what did I do...He was right when he said _Loving you is like a battle, and we both end up with scars__._.." Remus stepped in front of him grabbing a hold of his shoulders he said "Pad you're not making any sense who did you lose?" Once again he ripped himself away to pace he let out a broken laugh "_Cause no one's hurt me more than you __And no one ever will_..." James and Peter clapped hands over their mouths with horrified looks on their faces but Remus was shocked "He was telling the truth Sirius, Severus wasn't lying when he indicated you were together." Sirius made no sound he just kept pacing when a sharp sting across his face broke him out of his reverie he looked up to see the faces of his friends with mixtures of shock and anger. "How long Sirius, How long were you together with Severus?" The normally kind wolf yelled. Holding his cheek he spoke barely above a whisper but loud enough for them to hear "Five months...I lied when I said I didn't love him." Lupin roared "Five fucking months you didn't think to tell us or ease up on the pranks you and James played on him...how is that love?" Sirius shook from rage "I did love him we both wanted to keep it a secret...You never once stopped us from our pranks did you Remus..." Remus cut in "And I'll have to with that for the rest of my life how I was too quiet too scared that you all would turn on the freak wolf to speak up, How I was a part of making a poor boy almost end his own life! I'll never be able forgive myself nor would I deserve too but I wasn't his lover either..." At this Sirius cut him off "What would you have had me do walk up with him hand in hand announcing our dating? Think that would have gone over well do you, think everyone would be so accepting?" He gave a pointed look at James who would looked like he was going to argue but he didn't give him a chance. "Oh please don't play me for a fool Prongs you hated him at first sight, I'm not going to say I didn't but that was one of the reasons I couldn't confide in you at all." They all made their way to their own beds just sitting there no one saying anything none barely doing much but breathing. Sirius tried to close his eyes but the memory of what he saw plagued his mind, curling his knees to his chest he gave a raw sob. It tore their heart to see him that way even if some thought he deserved to be broken hearted no one liked hearing the pain he was in. James was torn between being angry that he was with Snivellus of all people to sad that he was hurting so much. His voice was unsteady as he asked "Padfoot what did you mean He's in a place you can't reach him?" Tears streaked his face if it was possible it contorted into even more anguish "I can't say, I may not be with him anymore but I can do this last thing to protect him." James sighed "Siri we won't tell anyone promise..." He stopped him with a hand up he knew he needed to confide in them but how could he trust them with a secret this big. Remus saw the struggle in the handsome face of one of his best friends face "We'll make a Wizards Vow if that will ease your mind." Peter gasped at that next to the Unbreakable Vow the Wizard's Vow was the most serious vow you could make, to vow on your own magic was not a vow to be taken lightly. James agreed so Peter spinelessly agreed too when the vow was complete they locked and silenced the dorm. He wrapped his arms around his knees tighter to stave off some of the shaking when he spoke it was just as shaky "We not only pushed him to suicide but we gift wrapped and handed him right to Voldemort, He must have cast a wandless Legilimency because as soon as his eyes met mind he showed me him being escorted to some chamber the fear coming from him was so strong even if he never showed it. When he took it he didn't make a sound but I could hear him mentally screaming from the pain after he went back to him room, I could almost smell the rank odor of burnt flesh..." Sobs once again ripped from him he was breathing harshly but forced himself to finish "He cast some kind of silencing spell then dropped to the floor his cry will never leave me but...but what he said was worse he called my name." His breaths were coming out pants now "he said _Where were you when I needed you__...Where were you?!_ And Merlin help me I did promise to be there for him Oh GOD I betrayed him!" Remus ran to the bathroom to throw-up, Peter silently cried, James punched his trunk till his hand bled, all the while Sirius hugged his knees his hands were white from the force he held them replaying the words in his mind '_Where were you when I needed you__...Where were you...Where were you when I needed you__...Where were you__...Where were you?!'_

I hope you enjoyed my latest fic, I know I'm really rusty since it has been years since I attempted to even think of a fic but something about Harry Potter draws me to want to write. I hope my writing style improves as I turn out a couple more song fics. I know they aren't the favored fic but I hope you liked it regardless. I ship Slash fics only If you want a pairing message me and I will try to make it happen. Please review I don't mind constructive criticism but don't just say it sucked for the sake of being mean. Thank you for taking the time to read this :)


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